To the child I will never have

Dear child I never knew:

Where do I begin? I guess I could start by apologizing for not taking better care of myself. I suppose if my body had not "turned" on me, and I did not have to have that hysterectomy.. maybe.. in time.. I might have changed my mind about having children.

Soo.. for that, I am sorry.

Though I often joke about what a horrible mother I would make, I actually think I would have been a great mom! One thing is for certain, you would have grown up in a very interesting house! Your father would have been an egyptian (which means more than likely, your name would have been different!! Also, the chances are your hair would have been dark, and curly and you would definitely have more of a tan than me!) Unfortunately, the egyptian and I are not very tall, so height would not be a gift for you.

You would have been bilingual - which is pretty cool. Arabic and English. The thing is, we both actually speak fairly decent French.. so maybe even tri-lingual! You would have been a world traveler at a very young age.. transatlantic flights between grandparents!

If you were a girl, oooh you know your room would be decked out in ballet goodies! Unfortunately I would probably have pushed the "girlie girl" look on you. As a boy, I am sure you would have been a strong little man. Soccer ball in hand before you could walk!

Your father would have sang Arabic lullabies to you ( he loves to sing and play the guitar, however - he is not very good at either!) I would have held you in my arms and danced with you around our house.

But I guess we will never know each other. I am okay with that.. I assume it was all pre-destined. We never know where life will take us, or how things will end up.

One thing is for certain, you would have been one beautiful child, with an amazing personality, and some seriously cool parents! ;-)

If spirits do exist (the souls before they reach the body) and things were supposed to be different - I hope you will watch out for your "should have been father and I." We offer our apologies..

Perhaps your spirit/soul came in another form. Just.. maybe.